The void that follows death.

What makes death heavier than all the hurdles of pain we’ve held? In seconds, as heartbreaking as it is, it was always inevitable, no matter how much our hearts yearn to have them back. The thought process of erasing the existence of a person you’ve seen in different attires at different points of your life, hinders you, as you see them one last time; shielded in white. But no amount of explanation- can teach a soul the pain of loss before the life is taken away from someone they love.

For each time I hear of a death of someone beloved, it breaks my heart a little- as I imagine them disappear and reappear, knowing that the very person was not in their senses anymore and was travelling far beyond our limits and it hurts because we knew that till the very second their heart stopped beating, they were travelling through a journey we called life, if not side by side, with us. And the fact that they’ve left their journey already- when we presumed that they’d be by our side during the entire journey, is awfully terrifying.

Are we next? How will we ever fill up the gap, the void that’s made as our loved ones leave the earth? How would we ever cover up the hell of a hole that we call a grave, burying a person, knowing it would be the last time we’d see them? How can we painstakingly leave their new home? Just because they’re in heaven, doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like hell. The pain of saying goodbye to a loved one differs to the image they’ve depicted in every heart, but surely, it does hurt. Loss builds a hole in your heart that no one could ever fill. The day after would never be the same again, nor would the same day, no matter the eternity that passes, it would never be the same again.

F. Zahra Yoonus

This interview was conducted on behalf of Merak Magazine.


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