The Start of a Love Story

When I’m walking down a beach all by myself, I like to imagine the waves ushering to themselves, flowing back and forth, like a swing. I had a wooden swing, but it’s gone too. I feel serenity in the cold air around me, so I pull on my cardigan and pull my phone out. I play a song of Ed Sheeran’s and put on the headsets. I just go on walking about, throwing my hands in the air once in a while. I move around in circles. I realise, as I kick the sand now and then, that being independent is better.

I stare at the dark, when I see a figure moving towards me. The height tells me it’s a he. I stare at him, as he stops walking a few feet away from me, and turns to stare at the beach. I realise it’s him. I stop breathing. I look awful. This is not the right moment. I wasn’t even done thinking of how cool it is being independent, when I cross paths with him. He makes me break all my rules. “Hello.” I hear his voice. He noticed my existence? “Hey,”. “What are you doing here?” he asks, still staring at the waves. I’m the view here, not the waves. “Sounds like something I would ask. I just came here to, umm- you know, spend some time alone, with myself.” I said. He turns around, and raises his eyebrow. “And you were allowed to?”. What do I look like? A kid? No, I wasn’t allowed to. “Of course I am allowed to spend time alone. I’m not a kid anymore!” I huff, crossing my arms. He smirks, turning to the waves again. “You’re not alone anymore.” He said. “I can tell that.”. He walks towards a bridge and sits under it, right next to a night lamp. “Aren’t you coming?” he asks. “I’m coming,” I smile as I walk towards the bridge. My heart’s missing a few beats already. I crouch down next to him, and then lean onto the wood. We stare at the moonlight. These are the moments I’ve always wanted to capture, in my heart, if only it wasn’t captured by him. “What are your biggest fears?” he asks when I least expect it. 

“Mine?”

“No, the sky above’s.” shook his head. I clear my throat just to be sure. “Uh, right. I’ll tell you mine anyway, even though you didn’t ask.”. He laughs. That’s a sweet laugh. I wish he laughs more often. “Losing the people I love the most. I think it’s quite alarming. It just hits you out of nowhere. It hurts, god damn it. It does. I don’t handle such pain well.” I tell him. “Who did you lose?” he asks me, wide-eyed. “My best-friend.” I reply, and those words slip out like it’s something strange that I’ve never spoken about before. “I’m sorry for reminding you of…” with this apologetic look. “Look,” I interrupt him, “you’re not reminding me of anything, because sometimes, it’s all I ever think of, so don’t worry.” I smile at him. Anything that sets his heart at ease. He touches my hand. “What else?” he asks. “Change. I suppose I don’t have to explain it. I get that it’s for the better but,” I pause in mid-air, “but it’s still hard to forget the past. You’ll always miss it, no matter how much you go.” He ends my sentences. I nod in approval. “Exactly.” I whisper. “What are your biggest fears?” I ask him, as I nudge his elbow. He smiles. “My biggest fears…” he repeats. “Don’t tell me you don’t have emotions. That’s what all guys tell. I don’t believe in it, so just go ahead and tell me.” I say, as I sit up. I turn around and glance at him. He stretches his arms and leans forward. “Are you sure you want to know?” he asks. “Yes!” I tell him. He smiles, “Falling in love.”

Dang it. I bite my lip. “I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings,” he smirks. I nearly choke on my own spit. “What?! Why would that hurt my feelings?” I retort. “You know why.” He said. My heart starts racing. “Wait, I don’t. Why would it hurt my feelings?” I ask him. I try not to panic. He shrugs, “Stop pretending like you don’t know it. We both know why it would hurt your feelings.” He speaks softly. “I don’t!” I almost yell. “Whatever floats your boat,” he tells me, as he ties his shoelaces. “Please tell me!” I cry. “Because you’re in love with me.” He whispers. “I didn’t want to tell you that but you asked for it.” He replies. I stare at him dumbfounded. “I bet you’re just messing with me! I don’t love you,” I laugh haughtily. I really do. “I admire how confident you are about me being in love with you, though. Good job, but like here’s what my friend always says, pipe down your ego!” I pat him on his back, sighing. “It’s obvious. I see it in your eyes.” He tells me. “What have you been staring at my eyes for? I doubt I’m the one in love here.” I laugh. “Me? Fall in to that pit called love? With you?” he questions me, with raised eyebrows. “What? You think I’m not worth falling love with?” I ask him. He stares at me. “It’s not that-,” but I interrupt him, “I bet I can make any guy fall in love with me! I bet I can make you fall in love with me.” I tell him. He grins. “Are you challenging me?” I ask him with raised eyebrows. He shrugs. “Nope, I’m just thinking of how ridiculous this is.” He shakes his head. I whack his shoulder. He yelps. “What are you afraid of? Falling in love with me?” I ask him.

He looks at me in the eyes, all of a sudden, and his face softens. I shiver. “Afraid you’d lose, I beckon.” I say, hastily, “because you know you’ll fall for my intelligence and charm and wit and sw..” I go on but he breaks me off. “No, I won’t fall.” He laughs it off. “Then what are you afraid of betting on for?” I ask him. “Fine, I’ll do it. I’ll give you three months of time. Make me.” He agrees at last, as he stands up. He offers his hand, and pulls me up. “Great. I’ll see you in love in less than three months.” I smile. “And if you lose?” he questions. “Well, there isn’t anything about me losing in the history of the dictionary so…” I pause. “If you lose, I’ll set you up with a guy I’m shipping you with.” He grins. I nearly choke. “You’re shipping me?” I ask him. He nods his head and I shake mine. “Fine, I agree. And if I win?” I ask him. “You win.” He says. “Exactly. Win what?” I ask. “You win my heart.” He replies. “You’re so confident that your heart is valuable, aren’t you?” I ask him. “Only delicate hearts break, so yes, yes I am.” He tells me. There’s silence for a moment. “It’s getting late. I need to go.” I say, breaking the silence. “Alright. Stay safe. I’ll see you. Want me to drop you off?” he offers all of a sudden. “I’m not a kid, dude.” I cross my arms again. “You’re so cute when you’re pissed.” He tells me, as he tucks my hair behind an ear. “Thanks,” I tell him. “It’s late… I hate to say this but I really need to go, so…” I start walking backwards, facing him. “See you soon.” He tells me. “See you in love.” I say, grinning as I wave him off. “Wait, but you forgot something! You never denied that you are in love with me.” He starts. “I’ll tell you in about three months, I promise. Goodbye now.”.

F. Zahra Yoonus

This interview was conducted on behalf of Merak Magazine.

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