Feeling isn’t mutual.

Have you ever seen a pretty girl in the café, ordering the same drink as yours and you are like ‘We have so much in common, already’? Well, that is just fatal attraction. Don’t worry about that. You will get over her in no time. But this particular girl, you have met more than twice in a day and your heart longs to see her again; you meet her again somewhere less coincidental and you feel butterflies all over? This, my friend, could be a start of a crush war. A crush is actually a feeling or an intense infatuation towards someone unattainable or inappropriate. She could be older than you, your art teacher, your sister’s friend, a celebrity or even your mother’s sister. You are sick. But I am on about facts. A feeling of having a crush can be diverse. It can be a cute I want to be friends with you forever crush, let’s run away and make babies crush or keep making me feel special kind of crush.

First, the friendship crush. This is very common. In a friends’ circle, one might stand out. May be because they look extremely good or they sound sweet or they are unbelievably smart. Just like me. This will usually make someone want to be closer to that particular friend. There’s nothing romantic or sexual about it. You just want to be around that person all the time, over the phone, go to theme parks with them, it is kind of a cute friendship. Side-effects may include, obsession and psychotic traumas and breakdowns.

Secondly, the admiration. Simply because someone is intelligent and they are good at something, you might catch feelings for one. Generally, you idolise them for this petty reason. A celebrity, a teacher or it could even be your cousin who tweets about C++ and inventing a time machine. This crush might feel like a romantic one because the feeling is too intense. It is better to let the time heal before you take a stupid move. Once you have passed a few weeks, you will feel like your crush-like feeling simmer down and you can stand on the same level of grounds.

Next, is the passing cloud. If you are already in a relationship, you still tend to catch crushes over someone new and exciting. These crushes might feel like they are better than your romantic partner but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should consider about your relationship because this is natural. And if you are single, don’t even think about running behind that person, quitting all the futuristic things you have been on already. Because this crush is all about physical and nothing else. Remember, time gives you the best answer.

The final and the most vulnerable one is the romantic crush. Sometimes, having a crush does mean you really like them. You want to be just more than friends with them. Hold hands, go to movies, cuddle with them or kiss them; these fantasies actually define that you have a romantic crush on them.

Now that we know the types of crushes, it is very important to know how serious you are with it. By doing so, you can proceed with the next step asking yourself whether to keep your feelings to you or to share it with your crush. This can be very tricky. Trust me, you don’t want to know why Emma Stone blocked me on twitter.

Considering your own behaviour when around the person you think you have a crush on, you can tell how intense your feelings are towards them. Different symptoms can tell you that you have a crush on someone, but they are all connected to being so not you. You might act all different when being with them. Some tend to become all shy, want to curl up in to a woolen ball and hide in the closet when their crush is around. Some even become unusually talkative and strike jokes like Ryan Reynolds out of nowhere. Who doesn’t like to be noticed by their crushes? These are common symptoms and you have got to be really aware of what you are doing. Unconsciously, you might make them feel uncomfortable or scare them away. Don’t tell me, I didn’t warn you.

Psychologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months. But when feelings last longer, you are considered to be “In Love”. 

You cannot possibly avoid catching feelings for someone. Having a crush is at times very healthy but at the same time can be crucial too. Always consider yourself before you put others in queue. Meaning to say, if you are unable to focus on anything else because you keep on thinking of your crush, is a sign you are falling hard. Talk to a friend or even a psychiatrist if needed. You don’t want to fail your life because of a stupid crush, do you?

Feroz Mohamed

Feroz is an ardent reader who decided to write. Holds an associate in psychology on the side.

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