Feeling Comfortable in Your Skin

I tell myself,

the moon will rise from darkness.

– Mahmoud Darwish

 

Everybody around including near/dear ones, are concerned for your well-being. Unless, however, any apparent physical symptoms are visible, hardly anyone would reach out to inquire about your Emotional well-being. Rather I would say we would not let anybody invade ‘that private space’, considered ‘one’s own’. It’s there those problematic begins.

I wish to be cared, pampered, loved, up to a certain level, where my ‘inner self’ remains intact. However, unfortunately, once you let the access of that ‘inner closet’ unbolts, more likely are the chances that folks would take the maximum advantages out of it, leaves you, then, in a devastated state to endure the duplicity. Then on, it becomes challenging to confide into someone. I just do not intend to point at a common girlfriend-boyfriend problematic. On the contrary, by and large, I am hinting at those visible/invisible instances of being cast off at your works place, after putting in your sweat and blood in every endeavor; ditched by so-called friends for as petty as study material; dumped by the ones you entrusted emotionally; deprived by those ‘own people’; judged by folks in the very first meeting (which is apparently noticeable) and so on, leaves you with self-questioning and identity crisis. Many more such occurrences you live through, discourages you from becoming part of ‘the community which is never interested in you but more in your vulnerability and/or flops’.

However, out of my personal experience, I would like to recall Mahmoud Darwish’s statement to maintain firm faith in the process, that there’s always a ray of hope, surrounding ourselves every moment, waiting to embrace us tightly. It is just that our hands never knew when to wide open and welcome it. I had been through a rough patch in the very early stage of my life and still struggling to fight the current crisis. Yet, when I look back to those melancholic long days and gloomy sleepless nights, a strong sensation crosses me, and the reassurance of that ‘moon will rise from darkness’ deeply struck me. I then realize, why would moon rise in the darkness and not in the brightness. The answer astonishes me, ‘the dazzling beauty and grandeur of moon can only be appreciated in the pitch-black night, the bright day light, on the contrary, would not know the significance of this magnificent object.’ Thus, the complementary harmonization is a continuous reminder for us to pushing and pulling ourselves while sustaining the process.

Strong resisting attempts to toxicity and negative energy are inevitable. Only remedy of saving yourself is to accept the fact that you are human being, thus, entitled to all the mistakes and learning from them time to time. Since, the best lesson can only be derived out of one’s own error(s). So, keep smiling as broadly as your jaw permits, flush out those bothering nightmares, keep moving, learning, unlearning and relearning, since life is a continuous flow, not meant to be interrupted at any instance.

Raeesa Usmani

Research scholar in the Department of English Veer Narmad South Gujarat University, Surat Gujarat, India

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